Some time ago I felt like I was overflowing with energy.  It was so bad I dropped to the floor and put my palms down on it.  It felt as if energy was pooling out and I was sinking through the floor.  Well, last night something similar happened again.  Except this timeI was more disoriented.  My hands weren't as warm, but it felt like I was in two worlds.  Like where I see one superimposed over this one.  I had started to feel odd after I watched the news and saw about the pope.  I prayed and later I lit a white candle and prayed. I went to a chat room and immediately wanted to ask a specific person it the room, but there was no way to send an individual message, so I just asked everyone about what I was feeling, wondering if it was connected.  Of course they all asked if I knew how to ground.  I felt kind of bad because I didn't want to just say no that won't work, but...hehe, I have such a damned hard time with grounding.  Nothing seems to work.  After they came to the conclusion that it wasn't just grounding, this person said she thought I needed to make energy balls and that it was from excess energy I needed to send out.  Since I saw something on TV, she suggested sending it to the people I felt needed it.  So I tried that.  I placed my hands in front of me and visualized the energy coming from within me to form a ball of light and then I saw it go over the seas to those in the Vatican and then another to those in the islands that were hit by the earthquake.  I visualized it covering all the people and land.  I did feel much more grounded after that.  Felt a little odd as I'm not used to it. 

I dunno, I was thinking about it today.  I wonder if something's changing again, or if I'm preparing for something else.  I'm trying so hard to be the person I feel inside, but it's difficult not to try to live up to expectations and ideals. Is it just another shift in my life path or is it something more?  I seem to be more contemplative since surgery.  Is odd, it's like I just want to be at home and think, and yet this place doesn't feel like home.  I physically healed very quickly from the surgery...in fact I was eating steak that night, but it's like inside I became more pensive on life.  I dunno...