So, I'm having a bit of a hard time in my personal life lately. I had a student yesterday come to me with a major problem, one that I have to report. I told my mom I was upset about it. I haven't been responding well since I got so upset last Tuesday anyway, but now I'm worse. My mother commented that none of this is happening to ME, and I have to separate myself from my students. I told her she could tell me that when she's been in my position. Here's the thing...
Everything is connected. Even if you were not standing where the stone fell into the water, the ripples will still reach you in time. Is it that bad to care about someone? I mean, I do force myself to eat and sleep, it's not like I just sit and stare at the wall and decided to give up on life. I'm just extremely upset and disturbed by what is happening--especially since it's happening on top of everything else in MY life.
How can people be so blind and cold to each other? To just report it and not care? To not worry? To not think about it? When it's one of her kids going through a rough time, she worries, but I can't worry about my students? Why?? Because I didn't carry them for nine months? Because they aren't my blood? The laws make it hard enough to help a kid...I can't even hug or hold a child while they cry their eyes out unless the hug me first for fear of it being taken the wrong way. More importantly, how the hell can you listen to a child confide in you and you start to see the extent of what is going on, and separate yourself from it? How can you do that and still hold on to your compassion and humanity? I don't think you can.
Posted at 10:17 pm by akikodomo
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